Thirsting for Friendship and Loving Kindness
I guarantee there are many people out there who are parched and starving for positive human interactions. When we fulfill that need by showing we care, we always end up being the ones most filled.
Unusually hot days like the ones we’ve been having up here in the Northwest remind me a specific hiking experience I had about two decades ago. I and couple of my siblings planned to hike Ben Lomend peak which was a prominent mountain near where I grew up.
We had hiked it a few times before and it had become a summer tradition for my sister and I particularly. Since we were very familiar with the hike, we didn’t have any illusions about how tough it was. It’s roughly 16 miles round trip with a pretty steady climb all the way and a hard scramble to the top. So we prepared the best we could. We brought sunscreen, hats, walking sticks, sturdy shoes, and lots of water.
Thanks to our past experiences, we knew that it would be better to bring too much water than not enough, especially since the first five miles or so of the trail, we would be exposed to direct sun and it was going to be a hot one even at higher elevations. So I packed a gallon canteen and my sister and brother brought roughly the same.
We made it up to the top just fine. We enjoyed the cooler air above 9,000 feet and the view is always breath-taking. But somehow we always underestimate the needs of the return journey. I had drunk a lot of water along the way up, so about halfway back down, my canteen ran dry. My brother and sister’s water supply also ran out and so for the last few miles of what seemed to be endless switchbacks, we had to deal with the heat and beating of the sun and our sore and tired muscles without any water.
By the time we got down to the car, we were all absolutely parched and all we could think of was getting anywhere we can get cool and refreshing water. We pulled into the drive through of a Burger King near the mouth of the canyon and we order six large waters as well as ice cream cones.
I don’t remember eating the ice cream, but, to this day, I distinctly remember how exceptionally cool and soothing and refreshing and rejuvenating those waters were. I’ve had the opportunity of eating and drinking some pretty amazing things in my life as I’ve traveled throughout Europe and all around North America. But yet, I have to be honest in saying that nothing has tasted quite as good as that water in that situation.
What is it about necessity that drives us to have richer sensory experiences when those needs are met? When we’re really and truly hungry, the simplest foods can be delicious. When we are exceptionally anxious, any distraction can be so welcome. When we are in pain, a moment’s reprieve is a wondrous thing. And when we’re sad, the first involuntary smile can be worth so much.
It’s made me wonder if we could learn how to appreciate things a bit more without having to deprive ourselves of desired things in order to appreciate them properly. I think there are a few elements that we can examine from my hiking experience to explore this further.
Although on long hikes we sometimes don’t have a lot of choices of things to distract ourselves from, in our regular urban living situations however, we have a multitude of gadgets and TV series, and social media feeds and bings and buzzers and notifications that could eat up every ounce of our attention. One of the reasons why that water tasted so good, however, was because I was utterly focused on that water. Maybe if we focused on a few good things in our lives and removed some of the distractions when experiences good things, we might enjoy those good things even more.
In the case of the need for water during that hike, it wasn’t just a reward I was giving myself after exercising so much. My very biology was screaming at me to get water. In most situations, modern humans don’t have those sorts of urgent biological needs very often. This is probably a good thing. It’s led to our species being able to focus on so many amazing things like science and arts and creating beautiful things. But it’s important to remember that we have other biological needs that maybe we don’t give the same attention like we do with water and food. Human interactions, friendship, affirmation, wonder, and chances to learn and grow. If we set these things as priorities too, then that urgency might make the experiences we have in exploring these arenas all the more poignant.
I realize that thirst will likely always take priority over any other ambition or emotional biological need because our bodies need so much water and that water needs to be replenished so frequently. But how amazing would it be if we were to train ourselves to feel some level of the same kind of urgency when it comes to caring for others, loving our families and friends, nurturing our communities, and learning new things. If we were thirstier for those things, how much more rewarding could those experiences be?
I guarantee there are many people out there who are parched and starving for positive human interactions. When we fulfill that need by showing we care, we always end up being the ones most filled.