Unyielding Firmness Through the Hardest Times

We don’t have to put on a mask of smiles in an attempt to hide the actual anguish we feel in our worst moments. But we can commit ourselves to just pushing through, continuing the breathing and eating and sleeping that our bodies require until we’re able to start climbing out of the depths. And for those fortunate to find themselves in less strikingly desperate circumstances, lets offer our help where needed and give those trudging along through those dark times a lot of extra grace.

I remember the moment so distinctly. I had undergone a brain surgery the week before, which had gone really well all things considered. Of course, any day where we have our head cut open is not exactly a bluebird’s on my shoulder kind of day, but things had gone according to plan and I woke up from the anesthesia in an overall gentle way.

But the second operation of that hospital stay was a different story. I was told that the surgery had been a success as well, but this time I was wrenched out of the anesthesia with a jolt. I had severe pain, I felt very unsettled, and worst still, I couldn’t talk. I certainly hope that very few of us are ever in such a soul crushing experience. To lose the ability to speak would be startling to say the least, but in my case, I had already experienced that and knew how much time and effort it took to relearn because I had lost that ability either years before. I was lying in the ICU bed with a very think sheet covering me, shivering, silently but desperately trying to get the attention of a nurse so I could at least get a decent blanket.

Through excruciatingly heavy effort, I finally blurred out the words, “I’m cold.” A nurse eventually understand what I was saying and got me a blanket. And although this story is hopelessly depressing I know, it really has a happy end. I eventually recovered from my surgeries and I was discharged from the hospital. Relearning how to talk was a definite challenge especially because I was a junior in high school at the time and was involved in trying to prepare for college applications and ACTs and SATs and AP tests, and so not being able to talk, coupled with the fact that I had had to relearn how to read as well, definitely complicated things to say the least.

But we as humans do our best to get by and seek improvements little by little each day. And now, I love reading and I probably talk more than a lot of my coworkers or friends think is good for me. But here’s the thing—when we’re in the thick of hard times, when we can’t think of any possible way that life can ever hold joy for us again, and when we wonder what good hope is in those moments because we don’t even believe that better days are possible—that’s when we need those super human reserves of fortitude. In those moments often we can’t believe it when others say we’ll make it through. And we doubt the truth of what others might say about how strong we are or how inspirational they might think we are.

One of the root meanings of the word fortitude stems from the Latin word for firmness. Isn’t that a great goal for us to strive for at our worst moments? We don’t have to put on a mask of smiles in an attempt to hide the actual anguish we feel in those moments. But we can commit ourselves to just pushing through, continuing the breathing and eating and sleeping that our bodies require until we’re able to start climbing out of the depths. And for those fortunate to find themselves in less strikingly desperate circumstances, lets offer our help where needed and give those trudging along through those dark times a lot of extra grace.