The Power of One Touch in our Lives
It’s amazing how much of an accumulative impact one person can make in our lives. It makes me wonder, are there people around me who I can be there for like Sophie was for me: my next door neighbor who read with me in the early mornings after my brain injury who reminded me that I truly did love books? That is quite the daunting task, but if we all could try to be the best supporting actors we can for the people in our lives, they and us will be so much better for it.
It’s amazing how much of an accumulative impact one person can make in our lives. Of course parents, siblings, partners, kids, other family members, and close friends make significant impacts, but I’ve been reflecting on the supporting actors in our lives who can add an encouraging nudge at just the right moment or in just the right way to help us move in directions we might never go on our own.
The fascinating part about such supportive acting roles is that so often we aren’t even conscious of the true impact these people are making in our lives. I’m talking about the school janitors who make an extra effort to smile and exchange a warm-hearted joke with us as kids. The crossing guards who not only kept us safe while crossing the street, but also made us feel more ready for the school day because we knew in our hearts that at least one adult really cares about us. The neighbors who know how to balance keeping healthy boundaries and privacy, but who we know would do just about anything at a moments’ notice to help us if we were hurting or in a bad situation.
When I reflect back over my life, I recognize so many of these unsung heroes. Let me tell you about one of them that I might have mentioned previously in this blog but is absolutely worthy of repeat recognition: Sophie Richards.
Sophie was my next door neighbor while I was a kid. I had my quirks and rough edges like most kids do. I’m sure those qualms would bug anybody, but the magical thing about Sophie was that she had a way of being a grandmother for all the kids who knew her. And her way of grandmothering was exactly the kind of support I needed at one of the hardest times of my life.
Soon after my initial brain injury, lots of things had to work together for me to become a regular functional kid again. A lot of that had to do with physical therapy and other physical needs, but I had also lost about half a school of learning and I had the added challenge of learning how to learn with a new brain almost. Academic things used to be so easy for me that I had never really learned how to work hard on learning concepts like reading, writing, or math. So it was a hard thing to realize that if I wanted to be successful in school again, I’d have to do somethings that weren’t so easy for me anymore. One of the biggest obstacles at the time was reading.
Learning how to read again was such a weird experience because my right brain was completely healthy, it quickly grasped concepts holistically once I was able to sound out the letters that made up words. But that took training. And I was a pretty lazy kind at the time. Enter Sophie into this challenge in my life.
Sophie invited me over to her home each weekday morning before school, which must have made our meeting time to be around 7:00 AM, to read with her. She had traveled all around the world and her study where we’d read in the mornings showed it. She had chess boards from Turkey and wooden figurines from Kenya. To be honest, being invited to such a cool room was enough for me to get up a half hour early to read with her.
I think kids pick up the fact that some people are respected because of who they are and what they’ve done in the community. And though I’m certain I didn’t have the words to describe my feelings back then, I think I innately knew that Sophie was someone worthy of respect in every way. And so I didn’t want to disappoint her. I tried a bit harder with reading than I know I would have on my own or with a speech therapist.
As I recall, we only meet in the mornings for the first school year I returned from my hospital stay. And tragically, Sophie passed away from Leukemia a few years later. But as I reflect back now, typing these words that come so easily to me now in my study which is full of books I now love—even if my study isn’t nearly as cool as Sophie’s—I can’t help but think about how my life could be quite different today if Sophie hadn’t reminded me that I really did enjoy reading once I got past the hard work it was to translate the words into ideas. Would I have gone to college? Probably, but would I have persued a master’s degree? Would I be working in a profession that requires constant writing and reading? I don’t know. But very likely not.
I don’t believe in fate exactly. My life might have turned out quite happy if I had taken a different trajectory, but oh how grateful I am for people like Sophie Richards who provided just the right kind and amount of support and encouragement and hard love that have led me to who I am today, because I love my current life and books and writing are both such a pivotal part of my life today. It makes me wonder, are there people around me who I can be there for them like Sophie was for me? That is quite the daunting task, but if we all could try to be the best supporting actors we can fdor the people in our lives, they and us will be so much better for it.